BR 1/52: Why we really hate meetings
It's more than just lack of agenda's, meeting minutes, or goals. It's something much simpler and very much... human. It is a response to the response.
A Systems Thinker must always view the world through a systems lens.
A great Systems Thinker grasps not at the straws on the surface but the roots that give them birth. Every “system” operates on a mathematical equation which must always operate in equilibrium.
Technical Program Managers (TPM) must always strive to be Systems Thinkers.
Grand ideas are a product of many people collaborating together as a single unit. Hallmark of most effective teams is effective collaboration.*
Meetings are the best method to help teams collaborate to achieve grand ideas.
Meetings comes in many different shapes and sizes. Any time more than one person comes together, the only way they collaborate is a meeting whether you recognize it or not:
Messaging between each other on Slack is a meeting.
Walking and talking is a meeting.
Whiteboard sessions, conference calls, all exchanges of ideas, it all happens via meetings.
Unfortunately, most people see meetings as a bug. When in fact it is the best way to solve a roadblock, a problem, build ideas, make big things happen. Assemble a group of skilled people with the right skill set focused on the right problem, its magic. Whether it's business or engineering, meetings help move things forward.
If meetings are a valuable tool then why the hate. There is a reason and no, it's not because the invite didn't have an agenda or it could've been an email. Let me explain...
The Actual Reason We Dislike Meetings
An explosion of meetings is a response. Projects are swirling out of control. Deadlines are being missed. Work is slow and low quality. Tell me, what is the most typical response leadership will have in this scenario? More regular sync ups and meetings to keep constant check on progress.
Those tasked with ensuring project's success - TPMs, PMs, EMs, Tech Leads, Business Leads etc - find things slipping and the very human response is to be more plugged in, increase visibility into all aspects of a project, hold everyon accountable; the only convenient tool they can see is meetings.
No one thinks to say “let’s address the systematic issues to address the root problems instead of starting to force people into endless status meetings.”
Project Leaders want to regain control of the spiraling situation. This is the best way they know how; most definitely the expedient method.
For the participants, it’s also a matter of control, well loss of control. Your calendar bombarded with meetings of all shapes and sizes.
For engineers, this breaks the sacred “deep work” flow. For others, like TPMs and PMs, their calendar becomes a sea of meetings, one after another, leaving no room to think or be strategic, only react.
Of course, participants can exert some control in this situation:
Decline meetings.
Not show up to meetings.
Show up to exhibit participation and do something else on in the meeting. (Most common observation).
Send a delegate.
Ask the meeting leader to reschedule the meeting.
Great meetings are a social contract where we all agree to give up some level of control, in exchange for something valuable:
Answer to our questions.
Learn new knowledge from others.
Exchange ideas and information.
Help others work through difficult problems.
Prepare leadership to make difficult decisions.
So much more...
This social contract only works when everyone participates completely, both in presence and input in a meeting. This is where meeting leaders must always do their best to explain:
By giving up control of your calendar for 45mins, I promise you will walk away with X data point which help you with Y project which will help you be more effective.
What about alternatives to meetings?
Think about the most common replacement for synchronous meetings - async communication/collaboration.
Async is an illusion — async communication is synchronous communication happening in slow motion. People prefer async because it puts them in control of when to engage in the communication instead of being forced at a time of not their choosing. See, it’s all about control.
What can TPMs do here?
Sync vs Async — Be mindful of when the problem requires exerting more control or when leaving the control in stakeholder’s hands to engage is better.
Better Planning and Comms — Most wasteful meetings can be removed with better upfront planning and robust communication playbook within your organization. Every new member that joins your team will come from a different corporate culture. The faster you onboard these new members to culture the less they will fallback to their previous culture which will not align with yours. Also, pushing things to Slack or whatever your async comms tool is not enough. There must be equal high engagement on that platform otherwise you will fall back to the old ways of meeting explosion.
Realistic Frame Setting — The main goal should be to set realistic frames from the beginning. If a meeting is necessary, make sure the invitees understand and agree to the purpose and the outcomes you are looking for. Make sure the meeting length is realistic so that you don't overrun and discussions don't go too long. In the end, if you feel the need to have more meetings, discuss it first with the people in the team and try to arrive at an agreeable consensus for everyone involved.
Lead by Example — You know what is the worst kind of meeting, the one where the meeting leader comes unprepared to their own meeting. If you are asking people to give up time on their calendar, make sure you do the work, be ready. To be honest, this is the most common mistake and something I try above all to not commit myself. Alas, I am only human after all.
Additional Reads — the following articles are the best pieces I have read on running better meetings and the psychology of meetings:
Until next time 👋!
-Aadil
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